The Truth About Getting Older

 When I tell people that I am almost two years past my "Biblical Sell-by Date of Three Score and Ten" I usually get a response right out of a motivational poster. I am told "Age is all in your head," or "You're only as old as you feel," "age is just a number" or some other positive platitude. This week my 79 year old best friend is having stomach problems, my 83 year old sister was having trouble breathing and was hospitalized, another 67 year old friend had triple by-pass surgery and I struggled to cut my lawn, a task I've done hundreds of times. It gets lonelier and lonelier as we love those we love (No true love story has a happy ending) which is perhaps the hardest part of the tail end of life.           

To tell the truth, "Age is all in your body and its failing,", "If you're only as old as you feel, start digging the hole right now because I feel like hell," and if "age is just a number, my number is almost up!" I must say that the old talk show host Art Linkletter was right when he said, "Old age is not for sissies." Being old for most of us is a tough job and it is not a job with much of a future. I almost want to go on a job interview just to answer the question, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" The answer is "DEAD! I'm likely to be DEAD in ten years!" 

So why do I keep going? Why don't I talk a long walk on a short pier? As tough as getting older is, it beats the alternative. I still find life worth living, I still like to hear the birds singing in the morning and the sun on my face. I still enjoy reading a good book, and spending time with friends and family. I don't need to lie to myself and pretend that I am not falling apart like a rusty old Buick. I am resolved to face my final years with courage and curiosity. I plan to make the most of the time I have left and do what I can with the energy I can still muster. My philosophy is best expressed in the lyrics of a song by Steve Goodman. In the Ballad of Carl Martin, a tale of an old jazz musician, Goodman wrote, "Its a mighty short trip from the cradle to the crypt so you better get it while you can."

Mow Power to me

 I cut my lawn today. This doesn't seem like such a big deal except that it is the first time I have performed this task since my accident last summer. My legs aren't what they used to be, and I tire easily so my daughter wanted me to hire sometime to mow my grass. I have the money to pay someone and this would be the easiest way to handle this chore, but I just couldn't bring myself to give up this task. 

I have been mowing lawns since I have been 8 years old and was tasked with cutting my grandmother's lawn with an old rotary push mower. Doing this chore for my grandma made me feel important, like I was doing something productive. Since then, I've cut my parent's grass, my own lawn and my kid's properties. I always found grass cutting to be a satisfying task; I like the sense of immediate accomplishment that comes from viewing a freshly cut lawn. 

As I've aged my health has declined and I have had to give up many things. I know that eventually I will have to turn cutting my grass over to someone else, but for now, "you can take my mower when you pull my cold dead fingers off its handle." I will continue to do this pleasant and satisfying task until I can't do it any "mow!" (Sorry for the PUN--silly humor is something else I refuse to give up)    

My kind of hero

Have Gun-Will Travel is my guilty pleasure. Every Saturday night I indulge myself and watch an episode of this classic western TV show. Growing up I wanted to be the show's hero Paladin, a professional gun fighter with a mysterious background. He was culturally refined and well-spoken. Paladin was an honorable man who did everything in his power to avoid taking a life. He was well educated and was more inclined to quote Wordsworth or Shakespeare than to pull his gun. He had the confidence of a man at the top of his trade and willing to step in to defend the oppressed and to stand up for the weak. 

I believe we need Paladin more today than ever. Since the 1970's our heroes were replaced with anti-heroes like Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry. These shoo-first-ask-questions later (or never) tough guys are crude, often bigoted, and never show remorse for their violent deeds. They favor short catch phrases rather than the erudite comments made by my man in black. Societies get the heroes they deserve. We need to work toward building a culture that values heroes like Paladin. A society that values education, high culture, and thoughtful action. Come back Paladin...we need you. 
 

                                                 Rows and flows of angel hair,

                                            And ice cream castles in the air,

                                            And feather canyons everywhere

                                            Looked at clouds that way.

I have always been a great admirer of Mother Nature's handiwork. I delight in birds, trees and flowers and all things in nature. I have decided that her greatest invention was the cloud!  

A number of things led me to this conclusion. First is the kaleidoscopic nature of clouds. All of nature is constantly changing, flowers bloom for a day, rivers cut new courses and tectonic plates shift over the eons but nothing else in nature changes as quickly as clouds. At the mercy of the wind clouds are completely fluid. They are always shape shifting from second to second providing us with a never-ending show.

Since the dawn of our species, the shape of clouds has stimulated the human imagination. Our modern science tells us that what we are seeing when we look skyward are masses of water vapor suspended in the atmosphere, despite this knowledge, our storytelling brain sees elephants, Gods, and other fantastic sights. Looking at clouds switches on our desire to create patterns and make sense of our world. In an age when we are bombarded with a steady stream of carefully created images and ideas, clouds allow us to exercise and enjoy our creativity. 

Perhaps the best thing about clouds is that their beauty is always available to us, no matter where we might find ourselves. Even in the canyons of Manhattan, clouds provide us with a connection to the natural world. We may have to lean back a bit and crane our necks but, these fluffy chunks of natural beauty are waiting for us right above our heads. It may seem odd but skyborne clouds have always helped keep me grounded! On stress filled, hectic days a glance at the sky calms my soul and reminds me that the world is far bigger than my tiny earth-bound problems.